I sat on the cold table, waiting for her to enter the room. I had scheduled my women's well exam a year earlier. My doctor finally came into the room, greeted me with a warm smile, and began to examine me. My doctor had grown up in a Holland orphanage. She became her adoptive father's "apple of the eye." However, although a doctor, she felt she could never meet her dad's standards. She dated a guy for many years to discover that marriage was the last hope on her mind. She believed marriage was an American hope and dream. This hope, she despised in the sense of the "two becoming one." This aspect of marriage is confusing to most people. The apostle Paul refers to this idea as a mystery.
As she examined me, I talked about my children and how my husband and I had the heart to homeschool. At the time of my appointment, my children were 13 and 11 years old. Coops, sports, dance, piano, drum lessons, board games, hugs, kisses, talks, etc., had comprised our lives. She asked, "What Have You Done, Angela?" Prior to raising and homeschooling my kids, I had worked, but at this specific time, I was homeschooling and in Seminary. She took me off guard. This question was insulting. Why did her question make me feel so uncomfortable when that was a part of my story? Why couldn't I view her question without judgment? Her question reflected her perspective in life. Her upbringing and journey influenced her prejudgments, decisions, and ideologies. I was a mom and a darn good mom! I should have felt secure and confident enough. Was it me? Or did she have the problem? Was there a problem with what she asked? Or, was there a problem with the rejection I had felt? What was my standard of living? What did I value? Who was I living for? Who you are is developed and actualized throughout your life. You don't have to make it happen. It just happens.
I had never been confronted with these words as I raised my children. However, there was something in me that needed reconstruction. I was offended by an ideology unlike mine that triggered a response within. After much introspection, the realization and embrace of who God created me to be as a mother made me stronger and wiser as a human being. I kept in the forefront of my brain, "The One who chose you can be trusted, and He will do this" (1 Thess 5:24, CEV).
Have you ever experienced a similar situation as a mom? My kids are older now, and I will be there forever, Mom. My daughter tells me often that I am the angel God has placed in her life. My son adores me and reciprocate the love I have shown to him. Because of this, I trust he will value his wife someday. Are you struggling with your life as a mom? Do you feel that you are missing another opportunity aside from motherhood? Do you tend to compare yourself to what others are doing and find it difficult to embrace your special calling as a mom? Let's chat for a moment or two. In the meantime, keep this quote in mind:
"A mother is she who can take the place of all others but
whose place no one else can take."
- Cardinal Meymillod